here

I don't know exactly what you would call these. I don't want to say it's poetry cuz I dont write poetry. I wrote these two "groups of words" while I was bored at work. I even dated them 4-20. Don't judge them to harshly cuz I was just jotting stuff down...Two inseperable friendsif one day went by with out seeing each otherthey would just dieOne moment they shareda warm summer nightchanged their lives foreverand now they can never go backsuddenly the friends are separatedforbidden to see one anotherthe pain is unbearablewill someone end this nowI'm over you Do you think I care You need to stop imagining thingsI would be happy if you were in another relationshipYou are only hurting yourself no matter what you say, i know the truth, i know what i want, do you

do waaaaaaa

I went to the doctor bright and early this morning. I found out that I have some ovarian disease and I'm going to have trouble having children in the future. *sigh* It's no big deal right now cuz I don't want kids, but somewhere down the line I may. I was 15mins late for class. I hate that when you walk into class late everyone stops what they're doing to stare at you. I felt like shaking my ass before I sat down. That'll give them something to look at. Hehe. Class was boring as usual. I learned about how there are different committees in the house and senate... woofreakinhoo! I also learned a cool way to sign my name while I was doodling on my notes. Dammit! Susan's class let out early again! So I didn't get to see her. Damn damn damn! Ohhhh well. I'm gunna go up to my dad's office right now and play around with his scanner. Check my homepage for new pics :)

Dammit!...

Dammit! I feel worse right now then I did earlier. Medicine isn't helping... the only thing it's doing is numbing my senses. I've suddenly developed a cough too. I can't breath! I went to school early this morning and just kinda stared blankly at my professor. I did manage to take one page of notes and I think I did a pretty good job of bull shitting my way through my note card. During the break when everyone usually leaves the room I just sat there, put my head down on my desk, and took a quick nap. I figured I could catch Susan after class. Apparently her class let out early so she had already left by the time I was done. I got home and just colapsed on the couch. I took an hour long nap before I had to get right back up and get ready for work. With all the medication in me it probably wasn't safe for me to be driving, but oh well. I listened to my A.L.L cd the whole way up there. I grabbed it out of my cd case, looked at it and said "why do you keep doing this to yourself?". I got to work and Dustin looked at me and asked me what was wrong. I just said that I was on a lot of medication and was feeling a little out of it. Work went by amazingly fast. I sat behind the counter and worked on my government homework. Every once in a while I'd go to the back office and see who was online. I talked to Nancy and Ryan for a bit. Nancy's in summer school too, but she's at North Harris. Ryan has a new boy toy and might I say... yummy :) He sent me a pick of him a little while back. I shut the games off at 8:50pm, slammed the gate shut, did my paperwork, and was out of there at 9pm. I listened to the top 5 at 9 on 104 on my way home. Nsync was number 1, booyeah! When that was over I put my A.L.L. cd back in and tortured myself a little more. I got home around 9:40pm and finished up my government homework. I probably should go to bed cuz I have to be up bright and early tomorrow for yet another doctor's appointment before I go to school. I don't have to work tomorrow, thank god, so I think I'll just sleep my worries away. If only that were possible. I will not cry myself to sleep tonight!!!

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All this medication I'm taking is totally screwing me up. I'm much more "blah" then I've ever been. Heart and other miscellaneous medications are leaving me with a sense of nothingness. Going to doctors and being poked with a bunch of sticks and needles isn't all to comforting either. Test after test and still they can't really find whats wrong with me. I have another appointment tomorrow to find out the results of some test I took last week. It's not fun having someone stick a stick with a camera attached to it up your pee hole... I think that was one of the more uncomfortable test. I've been instructed by my doctor to gain 10lbs. I don't know how I'm gunna do that if the only thing I feel like doing is sleeping. I can't feel anything... this latest batch of pills has left me numb. Why is all this shit happening to me?

I talk...

I talked to Susan today! It's been 3 long years, just about, since I've talked to her. Our classes went on break at the same time so I walked by her class and flaged her down. She was like "Hey!", hehe :). We talked about the usual catch up stuff. Where we were going to school, our living situation, if we still talked to anyone from tech, and what our major was. She's majoring in theather. How cool is that!!! She's gunna be home all summer too! I get to see her every day now. Woohoo! Her hair is a little longer then it was in high school. She doesn't have bangs anymore :( I used to love her bangs but she still looks cute. I wanted to give her a hug before she went back to class but she was gunna be late so she ran back in there before I had a chance to ask for one. It's ok. I've got the rest of the summer to get one :D SUSAN!!!