Dammit!...

Dammit! I feel worse right now then I did earlier. Medicine isn't helping... the only thing it's doing is numbing my senses. I've suddenly developed a cough too. I can't breath! I went to school early this morning and just kinda stared blankly at my professor. I did manage to take one page of notes and I think I did a pretty good job of bull shitting my way through my note card. During the break when everyone usually leaves the room I just sat there, put my head down on my desk, and took a quick nap. I figured I could catch Susan after class. Apparently her class let out early so she had already left by the time I was done. I got home and just colapsed on the couch. I took an hour long nap before I had to get right back up and get ready for work. With all the medication in me it probably wasn't safe for me to be driving, but oh well. I listened to my A.L.L cd the whole way up there. I grabbed it out of my cd case, looked at it and said "why do you keep doing this to yourself?". I got to work and Dustin looked at me and asked me what was wrong. I just said that I was on a lot of medication and was feeling a little out of it. Work went by amazingly fast. I sat behind the counter and worked on my government homework. Every once in a while I'd go to the back office and see who was online. I talked to Nancy and Ryan for a bit. Nancy's in summer school too, but she's at North Harris. Ryan has a new boy toy and might I say... yummy :) He sent me a pick of him a little while back. I shut the games off at 8:50pm, slammed the gate shut, did my paperwork, and was out of there at 9pm. I listened to the top 5 at 9 on 104 on my way home. Nsync was number 1, booyeah! When that was over I put my A.L.L. cd back in and tortured myself a little more. I got home around 9:40pm and finished up my government homework. I probably should go to bed cuz I have to be up bright and early tomorrow for yet another doctor's appointment before I go to school. I don't have to work tomorrow, thank god, so I think I'll just sleep my worries away. If only that were possible. I will not cry myself to sleep tonight!!!