random thoughts

I can tell tonight is gunna be one of those nights when I can't sleep. All of a sudden my every thought is of her. I have been taken over by these flood of emotions. Shit like this happens all the time. One moment I'm fine and the next I'm on the verge of a breakdown. Why do I love her so much? She treats me like shit. For the past year I've been forcing myself to get over her. I can say that I am closer to my goal with every passing day, but every once in a while I have these horrible yet pleasing memories of her. Why can't I stop thinking about her!? I stumbled upon an old conversation I had with Mike almost a year ago... It was a short one. I had told him that I couldn't talk long because I was about to go see a movie with "her". The movie we were going to see was gladiator. That is the event in which things began to take a turn up hill. Spiritually we were very close during that movie. I wish I could of stayed in that theater forever with her. I feel so many different things right now it's not even funny. I must remind myself that no matter how much I pray or cry or wish, we will never be that way again. What angers me most is that she has moved on, or so I believe. We used to say we loved each other. She said "I love you" then I said "I love you more"... then she said something I will never forget. She said "I doubt that". She loved me more then I loved her... I don't think so.